Stick to your gums … I mean guns.

Tuesday, October 14 I got my bottom permanent retainer removed after 6 months of wearing it after having my braces removed. When I first got my braces taken off it was time to do impressions on my teeth and have a removable top retainer, and a permanent bottom retainer. I was in a small argument about getting the permanent one on in the first place. But, since he’s the orthodontist and knew what he was talking about — I caved and let him do it. After all, I did drop nearly four grand on my new straight pearly whites.

When his assistant put it on, the wire seemed really thick and high on my teeth, so when I spoke you could actually see the wire. (I have seen the inside of other people’s mouths and they didn’t look like that!) I was pissed off to say the very least. Needless to say, I went home sad (lol). I went in for my month and a half check up, to get my top retainer adjusted and see how my teeth were coming along. I told the orthodontist that I wanted my permanent retainer (let’s go with ‘permy’ for short) removed. I specifically told him to remove it or I will come back to my next appointment with it in my hands. I was being sarcastic about it, obviously. But he and I got along good, and I was one of the few adults in his clinic that had braces and actually sat around and chatted to him afterwards. So we had sort of like a … bond, going on. (Oh c’mon, I had to!)

I wasn’t a fan of the permy, and since I had shown my orthodontist that I was quite capable of wearing my removable top retainer and my teeth weren’t budging. He agreed to let me set up an appointment to have impressions taken of my bottom teeth and have a removable one at no extra cost (darn right!). I made my appointment for the day after the Labor Day holiday: September 2nd to have it removed, & September 4th to actually pick up the new retainer.

Well wouldn’t you know! Luck was not on my side that day. I checked the online Greyhound schedule, and buses didn’t run from my city to the next where my appointment conveniently was, in the mornings anymore!!! What in the worrrrldddd. I had to call the orthodontist and re–schedule. People did not want permy removed. They couldn’t fit me into an appointment until October 14, and 16. That’s cool. I could wait.

October 14 rolls around and I catch the 3:30 Greyhound. It was supposed to arrive in the next city at 4:05. Perfect timing for my 4:30 appointment. But again they must have changed the bus schedule and trotted all over town picking people up. We ended up leaving the city at quarter to four. No need to start panicking, I still had extra time to get to my appointment. Bus drive took the same route as always, right through farm country and back roads.

However, dun dun dunnn… it looked like 4:00 was rush hour in farm land. Sweet diddly corn’on’ya.

We arrive at the terminal at 4:20. Not ridiculously late or anything, but enough to make me panic and wonder if I’m going to catch the city bus in time to get to my appointment… and guess what? The city has changed the bus schedule THERE too!! I could no longer find where route #3 bus left from, and when I finally found it it was 4:28 and the bus left at 4:20. Sweet mother of poo. I was ready to kick someone in the head.

I called the orthodontist and told them I missed my bus and I was late. But, I didn’t want to shell out $10 for a cab that will bring me the ziggy-zag round about way to my appointment. So what did I do? I booted it all the effing way there. Yeah, that’s right. A girly girl having a great volumous (?) hair day, dressed up in a nice purple striped button up shirt, black pants and dress shoes. Booting it to her braces appointment. I had to stop a couple of times because I was going way faster than my 30 minute 5k and I was getting short of breath. As I started up running again, I passed all kinds of people (Orthodontist appointment is in laid back hippy–ville), and one bunch of kids yelled at me: “Don’t stop!” which was funny to hear.

Did I make it? Yes, and only 15 minutes late for my appointment! Hurrah! My orthodontist has four assistants (busy place, I take it) and they all like talking to me. Guess I’m friendly? Whatever. I was out of breath. Could they not see the sweat pouring off me, with my raggity tangled hair and damp dress shirt? It was not a pretty sight, I’m embarrassed to admit. As soon as I got in there, they told me to sit down, and back went the ortho chair. (I was still catching my breath at this point!) A few of the ladies commented on my seychelles flats (that are not available anymore! I even e–mailed the designer. “Last years model. Sorry! No more available.” Dangit, I want a backup pair that can ship to Canada!). Out came permy, then the impressions were done and I picked out a nice clear purple to replace permy.

It’s obviously not recommended that you go against what your orthodontist suggests. But that permy was annoying to me and I wanted it out. I kept rubbing my tongue on it constantly, in hopes it would rub away. Chewing anything stuck to the permy, especially pop corn kernels and bubble gum. (I’m such a child.) But now having a removable one in it’s place made me all the happier.

I am a happy straight teeth person. I stuck to my gums guns and got what I thought was needed.

Last night was the first night I slept with two of my removable retainers in. It was almost like having braces all over again, only a mouth full of plastic. With my top retainer, I never ‘slurped’ (if you have a retainer, you’ll know what I’m talking about) because there wasn’t much need. But when I popped that bottom one in and laid down in bed for the night, I literally thought I was going to choke in my sleep. There was saliva building up and I thought I’d choke on my own spit. I guess I got used to it, because boyfriend came home late last night and I was still alive. I guess the first few hours were the worst. It’s really tight too, which is good — keeps my teeth in line.

And that was that.