And they said I wouldn’t remember a thing! As you all know. I had four of my wisdom teeth removed yesterday afternoon. I was in the waiting room for two hours before they made me change into hospital wear.

So, I changed my clothes into the Johnny coat, and they wheeled me into the Day Surgery waiting area, right outside the O.R.

You’ll never guess who was the anesthesiologist! My climbing friend I’ve known, for 10 years. Noel.

It was soo nice to see someone I knew there. Before he got there, I was just sitting in the wheel chair, covered up in blankets, thoughts running through my head like a mad man, I almost cried I was that worried. There was a huge lump in my throat and I kept blinking a lot so tears wouldn’t run down my face. haha. I was shaking, I was that nervous.

Noel said he’d take care of me. I was wheeled into the O.R by some Nurse. She told me to take off the top layer of the gown, and I had another one underneath that just had to be draped over me. I hopped up onto the table, and they put 4 or 5 sticker type, heart monitor things on my chest and the side of my stomach. Then they pinned my legs down with some velcro. I joked around and said “Is that in case I kick you in my sleep?”

Noel put a freezing needle in my wrist, so the IV wouldn’t hurt going in. After it froze, he put an IV in my wrist. He told me after I’m asleep, he’ll put a breathing tube down my throat. Nice..! I remember him putting two different things in my IV. I said “Hey, don’t work on me yet, I’m not out. I don’t feel anything happening.”

So he put something else in, and said “I’m going to get you on a good high” or something like that. I blinked twice, trying to keep my eyes open, and I just zonked out.

When I woke up I heard Noel say something like “open your eyes” I didn’t want to because I knew it’d be bright. He held my hand and I squeezed it super hard. By this time they took off the sticker type heart monitors, the breathing tube was gone, my legs weren’t tied down and I had a heart monitor thing, clamped to my index finger, and an oxygen thing going up my nose. I looked over to my left and I saw my heart rate was 98 beats per minute, and then after a few minutes it went down to 68. I was wondering why it dropped so much.

The Nurse looking after me in Recovery told me my heart was just beating fast from the ‘stress of the surgery’. Funny hey? They said they were going to keep me in recovery for 15 minutes, but I was in there for 45. After that, they wheeled me into another recovery room (not the O.R one, but the one where I changed into my Johnny Coat). My Mom saw me being wheeled out and she came over. I wasn’t really feeling any pain, but I was spitting a lot of blood into tissues. I stayed in that bed for 15 minutes and they told me to get dressed. I wanted to stay and rest there, forever! I wasn’t ready to go home. Anyway, I changed my clothes and by that time, Nature called me. A Nurse assisted me to the washroom and boy was I ever dizzy, I was shuffling along my feet, and I felt SO stomach sick. I didn’t throw up once yesterday, or today. I only bled for 4hours, my face isn’t bruise, nor my hand where the IV was. I still haven’t had any pain. I kinda knew that I was going to be that way though. A lot of people said I’d bleed for 8hrs, I’ll be in such misery and not open my jaw more than a 1/4 inch or so. But man, I’ve been stuffing my face full of soft foods and liquids today.

I gained three pounds since yesterday. haha. But yesterday I had NOTHING to eat the whole day, because I had to fast. So. There’s my detailed story about my wisdom teeth. My jaw is bigger than Jay Leno’s and I look rediculous with a scarf wrapped around my head keeping the ice pack on, because my hands are froze from keeping in held up. haha!! The swelling on my lower jaw is retarded. My Mom took a picture of me, and I was soo not happy when she did that. I’m glad I wasn’t born with a big jaw line. Cause man I look bad! :P Anyway. I’m going to go check some e-mail, and head back upstairs on the recliner and pass out again. Lata.

Ever miss someone so bad, that you literally cannot stop thinking about them every single hour of your day? I’m not sure what to do about it. It distracts me from school, and work. Sometimes, I don’t understand why exactly. I guess that’s one of the suckiest parts of life.

There isn’t anything I can do about it. I’m a very private person when it comes to deep serious feelings. I don’t even tell my best friends about things that I really, deeply think about. If I like someone, I get shy. If someone likes me, I get afraid.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have schooling, or money to worry about. A girl in my class told me that should could picture me back packing around the world.

I can really relate to her thoughts. I can totally imagine myself backpacking, alone.. travelling to Africa, Greece, New Zealand. All alone. It doesn’t even scare me thinking about it anymore. Maybe it’s because I was afraid to leave my loved ones. It’s why I don’t like getting attached to people anymore. People move away. Your best friends move away, and eventually you loose contact, no matter how hard you try… you do loose contact. Yes, you can perhaps talk once a month, maybe once a year. But that’s not good enough for me. I hate loosing friends, and maybe that’s why I’m feeling so outgoing but private at the same time lately. The past two or three years I’ve been taking things slow, and not getting into serious relationships / friends. I don’t want my friends to move away and forget about me.

Johanna is leaving for British Columbia, in three months. We started hanging out around 2004. She goes out of her way to do things for you. I got attached to her, and she’s now a REALLY good friend of mine. But. She is moving away to B.C and doesn’t even know if she’s coming back. Yea, she told me to come visit, but really now. Where am I going to find the time, or money to do that?

This summer, my parents and I are going over to Ireland to visit my Brother who I haven’t seen in a year or two. I’ll be in school by September and in 2006 I’m going over to England for a Graduating school trip. Jenna.. another really good friend of mine, has been travelling back and fourth to B.C and here since 2002 I think it was. Anyway, we’ve lost contact too. She’s in Newfoundland now, until April. Then is going to take off again to B.C where the love of her life is. I don’t blame her for doing that, hell I would do that too. Things just haven’t really been the same with us, since she’s been moving back and forth. Probably mainly because I’ve been backing off. It really hurts when your friends move out of your life. I don’t want to feel that again. I feel extremly bad for not hanging out as much as I should.. and want. But it’s something that I do, and have to do in order to keep myself “normal”.

For those who do not know. My Father has been ill since August. My short term memory has been pretty much gone since then. I don’t really remember much since August. I’ve been keeping to myself and family, since then. Except for the climbing business 3 to 4 days a week. But other than that.. I don’t really do a hell of a lot. Wow. I can’t beleive i’m spilling my guts like this. Kudos to those who’ve read this far. Feel good. I’m off… cause this is weird. Lates…

P.S: By the way, my old host Robyn from jolting.net has a new site. It’s been like a year Robyn?! Jebus. I’m glad you’re back up on the web. Hopefully next time we see eachother we won’t be so shy, and actually talk to one another. haha. It’s happened! It can happen again.